I am not going to be bothered by fear, shame and all sorts of other feelings, which stopped me from doing what i want for many years.
Actually it’s already started on the day that my friend and me went to the Zwaluwhoeve for a nice relaxing weekend. Despite me being ashamed by my body, especially my naked body and the fact that i do not like all those naked men around me, I still managed to enjoy the spa weekend.
Then I went with my husband and daughter on a plane to Gran Canaria. Something i had not done for almost 30 years, because I was afraid to fly. Getting on that plane that day was a next step to total freedom.
And now i,m off to Turkey with my friend. Of course there was a bit of anxiety and fear, but i enjoyed it very much. . Only the cheating on my husband, or that’s how it felt to me.
Barely one day in Turkey we went for some indulgement in the ‘Hammam’. At least that was the idea, but I was scared to death lol.
Go get comfortable now, said the man, yes you read that right, it was a man. And then he started. He grabbed a washcloth with something on it, and started to wash from top to bottom. He scrubbed all the dead skin cells of me, and every scrub made me feel more naked.
I did not know what happened to me, this body which has not been touched by any other than my beloved husband for 30 years, was now being washed from top to bottom by the big hairy Turky. Oh oh dear, I thought, can i do this? what would my husband think? Flashed through my head, adultery was what it felt like after 30 years.
Oh dear, while the big hairy Turk went on, his body hung over me, and i could feel his chest hair prickling on my belly. He took me into a firm grip around my neck to loosen evrything up, oh boy he came close.
He told me to relax but i felt every fiber in my body and every muscle tighten.
This couldn’t be the meaning of this ‘Hammam’ thing’.Then the big man asked me of i was doing allright and I nodded enthousiastic and said that is was very enjoyable and relaxing.
Of course it was very relaxing and enjoyable, you are scrubbed from head to toe, your body all foamed up ,you get a very nice massage, what more could a girl want. I started to let go of the tension and slowly relaxed, and i caught myself suddenly laying there with a big fat smile on my face. Here I lay, washed, massaged and pampered by a big hairy Turk, who all of a sudden didn’t appeared to be so big.
pictures and article send in by: Ria Scholten-Alsemgeest, Spijkenisse, Holland